And tonight I find myself without a beta for the long fic. Not sure if I should fly solo or try to find another. It's not the grammar I most need help with (although you all probably know that I need some help with that too...haha), it's more knowing when to expand and when to pull back. I get too into the story and then don't realize that things don't make sense. Or that they need just a bit more time and explanation. I sent a PM to one of my more analytical reviewers but I don't even know if she betas so...I might be working on this one alone for a few chapters if I can't find someone soon.

I hope real life starts behaving for my previous beta. She was great and I wish her the best

Whether I do it alone, or with help, the first chapter is going up on Monday the 16th with a chapter every Monday and Thursday after that. RBTL will shift around it with a new chapter every weekend (for sure) and one during the week (when I'm inspired).

Check out how I used my Josh Holloway icon to make me feel better. Dreamy.

I have another question for you guys.

As you all have undoubtedly noticed, I like to use RBTL to experiment. I like to mix up my styles and tones and POVs. I like writing angst and fluff and family stuff and character studies and dialogue and no dialogue. Since the beginning, through 32 chapters and over 1000 reviews (I can't quite believe it), there is one thing that always makes me laugh.

Whenever I post angst, I get like fifteen reviews or PMs asking for fluff. And when I post fluff, I get feedback asking when I'm going to post angst. I can't really change the tone of what I post. When I'm feeling the angst, I write angst and when I'm feeling the fluff, I write fluff.

I don't really find Alice and Jasper to be a very cutesy couple and when I write fluff, I try to still maintain my characterizations and character development. I've read a lot of really stupid fluff is my point, so I may shy away from it a bit more as I don't want to cross that line. I don't really have a preference on what I like to read. As long as it's well-written, I can deal with pretty much any kind of fic.

So my question for you is...angst or fluff? Do you even have a preference or does it depend on your mood or the pairing or the author?

Bonus question: Why, when I post an angst chapter do people forget that the previous one was (often) fluff and vice versa?

:)

I just did 6 pages of review replies and wrote about 6,000 words on the long fic and wrote a chapter to post tomorrow for RBTL. I still have PMs to get through. I'm not complaining. It's obviously my choice to do this but...thank God I write fast. Looking forward to my birthday weekend. I might even leave the Mac at home.

Ok, no I won't.

This post won't be much in the way of excitement. As a matter of fact, here is just a random list of things I'm thinking about:

- Working on the long fic today while the rest of America watches the Superbowl. I took out the Bella and Edward POVs because they are the ones I always have to force myself to write. That means that this fic is all secondary characters all the time. Just the way I like it.

- Speaking of secondary characters, check out my sweet [title of show] icon. I went looking for icons that have something to do with writing and found some good [tos] stuff. [title of show] was the best play I saw on Broadway last year. It's closed now but if it ever has a revival or plays in your area, GO SEE IT. It is so inspirational and hilarious. My abs hurt when we left from laughing so hard.

- I am still behind on review replies and PMs but I will try to get caught up during The Office. Writing takes precedence currently.

- I have several outtakes from the long fic and I thought about collecting them to post on ffn in one collection but now I am thinking I will just post them here for you guys.

- This weekend, I powered through some of the Oscar nominees. I saw Happy Go Lucky, The Reader, and Encounters at the End of the World. I haven't been able to get my hands on all the documentaries yet (I'm dying to see Trouble the Water) but of the ones I have seen, it's a tight race. I give the edge to Encounters though. Even though I adored Man on Wire, Encounters was so original, such a beautiful look of the eccentric kind of person it takes to live and work in Antarctica. I nearly stopped Happy Go Lucky after about fifteen minutes but then I was just drawn it. Sally Hawkins was pretty genius in the lead role. I don't think it has a chance in the screenplay category, not against the likes of Wall-E and Milk but it was fun to watch. The Reader was another story entirely. I did not enjoy the movie. Kate Winslet was predictably great, and I think this may just be her year to finally win (although we should never count out Meryl Streep), but I kind of hated the movie. I have a lot more nominees to get through before the 22nd but I am determined to win our Oscar game this year. Determined!

- Work was crazy this week. Another deadline came out of no where and I worked seventeen hours on Tuesday. Then on Wednesday, I had to drive down South for a funeral. It was exhausting. I feel better now but since next weekend is my birthday, things don't look to get any less exhausting anytime soon.

OK, enough stalling...back to writing.

OK guys, I have a question. I was reading through some parts of the books yesterday while working on the long fic and I have a question...

I know that when a vampire has their limbs pulled off, the limbs are still alive (thus the need to pull them apart and burn the pieces). Do you think those limbs can be reattached? Are they gone forever?

I'm to an actiony portion of the fic and not that I'm ripping any arms off, but it would be nice to know the stakes. I looked on the Lexicon and they didn't even mention that aspect of vampirism.

Did I miss something in the books?

I just caught up on review replies, emails, PMs, and posted a new chapter of RBTL. My eyes are tired but I am supposed to have the next chapter of the long fic off to the beta tonight so I will keep writing. Blerg.

I love interacting with the readers and reviewers but working on a complex story while maintaining my update schedule on RBTL is exhausting.

Anyway, crazy weekend this weekend. My freaking car broke down on Friday. I have to have it towed to the dealership tomorrow. I swear I'm seriously considering just buying a new one. Then I went home, posted a chapter, and watched Battlestar. It was crazy. It was so crazy that my adrenaline was pumping and it kept me from falling asleep.

This week I have deadlines and meetings and I think there's a baby shower somewhere in there and to top it all off, I have a guest visiting this week. I'm tired just thinking about it. Maybe I'll take Thursday off since it's the only day that I don't have meetings.

I think that when I finish the draft of this fic, I'm going to have to take a couple of weeks off of writing. It won't work but planning for it makes it easier to push through these times when I feel a little burned out.

So has anybody read any good books lately? I have a stack on the to be read pile but I'm looking for a good audio book for my commute.

1) I just got caught up on review replies. I think deciding to do them was the right choice. It takes a while but people take the time to read and give feedback, I can at least take the time to send a nice reply.

2) So, I somehow stumbled onto the forums at ffn today. Holy crap, y'all. Not my scene. I felt incredibly old just reading the posts.

3) I spent a couple hours early this morning reading Jacob/Leah fic. I always thought that if I wrote any Twilight couple besides Alice/Jasper or Carlisle/Esme, it would be Garrett/Kate. But, man, I think I have to add Jacob and Leah to that list. If I ever decided to break away from canon, I could really see writing them. There is a lot of interesting territory there.

I got a new project at work this week that has zapped my time. I am a graphic designer but I also wear a developer hat when I must. This week, I was called upon to create an application so I shut down Photoshop and started coding again. I can always feel the coding days acutely. My eyes hurt, my brain hurts, and oddly, I can never seem to put the work down.

Extra work means that I got behind on my writing. I intended to do more on RBTL this week but only was able to produce two hastily written chapters. I'm going to try to get a jump on chapters this weekend so I can get back to my usual three next week. But the rest of today is going to be devoted to the novel-length fic. I am determined to start posting in February so I have to really get to writing. I just made a big pot of coffee and a delicious soy cheese pizza and I'm going to get to it.

But first, when I was writing chapter 24 of RBTL, with the shifting POVs, I got to thinking about characters and what makes a good character. I make no apologies for the fact that I have issues with Bella. I don't really get her. I feel like she was well set-up early on and then toward the end of Eclipse and Breaking Dawn, everything I believed about the way she would act was changed.

I nearly always find the supporting characters more compelling. There is always a story left to tell, always moments we didn't see. I loved Alice immediately and that could also be some of my issue with Bella. She says she loves Alice and that she misses her when she's gone but she nearly constantly acts annoyed with her.

I think the best characters are the heroes of their own story. If you can get inside their head and see the path they are on and their motivations, then they are a good character. I always use Scorpius from Farscape as an example of a good character. He was a nasty villain made all the more nasty because from his point of view, everything he was doing was right and with purpose. He was the villain in John's story but the hero in his. That makes for some fascinating and complex story telling.

So I'm curious...what do you guys think makes a great character?